Life often throws unexpected challenges our way, sometimes quite literally. As an Acceptance and Commitment Therapist, I sometimes share a personal story that vividly illustrates the power of practising mindfulness, cognitive defusion, and self-regulation – skills that, with practice, can become instinctive, guiding us even in moments of crisis.
I was driving down Eastlink, on my way to help my parents move house. I had the radio on, a familiar companion to distract from the quiet hum of my own thoughts. But my mind, perhaps like yours, almost never shuts up even when distracted: “You’re an ACT practitioner,” it said, “Why aren’t you practising what you preach?”
So, I turned off the radio. For the next five to ten minutes, I deliberately engaged in what I was doing and what I was sensing: breathing, feeling my hands on the steering wheel, noticing the clouds, the white lines on the road, the cars around me. It was a conscious effort to keep myself in the present moment.
Shortly after, the ordinary shattered. I found myself behind a car towing a beautiful, classic timber speedboat, much like one you’d see in a James Bond film. I noticed the tarp covering it was flapping, a small detail that quickly escalated into a full-blown emergency. Within seconds, the boat had detached from the trailer and was standing upright in my lane, directly in my path, while I was traveling at nearly 100 km/h.
Thanks reve.com for generating this image. No, I do not have a dashcam, and yes, it was MUCH closer than this.
In that split second, a powerful, unhelpful thought surged: “There’s no way I’m going to miss this.” It was a classic “deer in the headlights” moment, where the mind fixates on the threat, potentially paralysing action. But instead of getting “hooked” by that thought, I experienced an almost physical sensation of pushing it aside. It was almost like a window wiper scraping a bug off my awareness. This was no conscious decision, but an instinctive response born from consistent practice.
With that unhelpful thought set aside, my mind was free to assess the reality of the situation. I remembered there was no one in the right-hand lane. Already braking, I swerved, narrowly avoiding the boat as it crossed my path. I watched it out my passenger window starting to fall on to the road beside and then behind me. It was that close – so close, in fact, that later, my dad pointed out the bent radio aerial on the back of my car, a silent testament to the boat’s impact. I hadn’t even heard it.
The aftermath was a rush of adrenaline, a racing heart. But because I had been present, and because I had instinctively defused the paralysing thought, I was able to adjust and self-regulate. I pulled back over across two lanes to the left, intensely aware of my racing heartbeat. I then carried out a simple four step present awareness exercise I’d learnt from Russ Harris: S-T-O-P. The steps I took were:
S – Slowed down my breathing. This I knew would help regulate my heartrate.
T – Took note of my thoughts “Are you okay? You’re okay aren’t you? That was scary! How could that guy not have his boat tied down properly? Maybe I should go back and have words with him.” plus several others I can’t print here.
O – Observed my feelings. I noted feeling scared, relieved, angry and proud of myself in quick succession.
P – Pursued my values. Well, I was already doing that, firstly by offering to help my parents move, but secondly by pausing the radio to be attentive and connected to my world. The obvious next thing to do was to resume my journey.
This experience powerfully illustrates three crucial ACT principles:
- Instinctive Skills: Practising skills like cognitive defusion and contact with the present moment (mindfulness) can become so ingrained with consistent practice that they just show up without conscious effort, especially when we need them most.
- Workable Thoughts in Emergencies: Cognitive defusion helps us identify and focus on thoughts that are helpful or workable, even in high-stakes emergencies, rather than being consumed by unhelpful ones. This allows for making good decisions under pressure. You can have the unhelpful thoughts and still make good decisions – just hold them lightly.
- Self-Regulation through Presence: Contacting the present moment widens our perceptual awareness. That increases what some ACT practitioners call ‘context sensitivity’ or situational awareness. This kind of awareness allows us to respond to opportunities in the environment, like an empty lane to your right, that might not appear to the mind narrowed by fear or fusion.
My body knew what to do. It said, “Enough of thinking about how we’re not going to miss this – it’s time to act.” This innate wisdom, honed by practice, allowed me to navigate a dangerous situation and emerge safely. It’s a powerful reminder that by training our minds to be present and to skillfully engage with our thoughts, we can cultivate resilience and make effective choices, even when a boat is literally on the highway in front of us.
A good place to start is with an exercise I call Boats Thoughts On The Highway.
