Why I’m Stepping Back From Facebook: It’s Not You, It’s the System
When I first jumped on Facebook back in 2009, it felt like a cool, easy way to stay in touch. It was great for keeping up with friends and family, and even joining communities, both local and global.
But lately, the more I’ve dug into how Facebook (and Meta) really works, the more I’ve become convinced it’s doing more harm than good – not just for me, but for all of us.
After a lot of thought, I’ve decided to really cut back on my Facebook use and won’t be accepting any new friend requests. So, if you sent one and haven’t heard back, or were thinking of sending one, please know it’s not a rejection of you.
I’m rejecting a system that’s proven itself to be pretty problematic. I wanted to share why I’m making this move, so you get it, and maybe some of you will even consider your own relationship with Meta.
My decision boils down to three big concerns that have been on my mind for years, which have since been backed up by a ton of research and internal company documents:
- The shady origins of the platform and its role in a world full of surveillance.
- The fact that it doesn’t seem to pay its fair share of taxes.
- The congressional testimony of whistleblower Frances Haugen.
Why does any of this matter?
Why is Facebook bad for mental health? The Hidden Psychological Cost
Facebook’s whole business model is simple: keep your eyes glued to the screen for as long as possible. Those “likes” and “comments” we love? They’re designed to give you a quick hit of dopamine, making you feel good reliably and consistently, which triggers an addictive feedback loop. This isn’t accidental; it’s how social media is built to work. The more you’re hooked, the more money they make from advertisers or other Meta products.
This endless chase for external validation, mixed with a feed full of perfectly curated “highlight reels,” actually takes a toll on our well-being. Facebook’s own research found it “make[s] body issues worse for one in three teenage girls,” and that filters and editing make it “hard for teens to tell what’s real and what isn’t.” This constant social comparison can leave us feeling inadequate, dissatisfied, and lonely.
I honestly believe this “monetisation of social comparison” is a huge reason we’ve seen youth mental health decline over the past decade and a half.
It’s not just a hunch either. A major study from MIT and other universities found a direct link between Facebook’s arrival and worse mental health in college students. They saw a 7% rise in severe depression and a 20% rise in anxiety disorders after the platform launched. They even said using Facebook had a mental health impact similar to 22% of the effect of losing a job.
What are the harms of Facebook’s algorithms? An Engine of Societal Division
The algorithms controlling your news feed aren’t neutral. They’re designed to push content that gets the most engagement — likes, comments, and shares. It turns out sensational, divisive, and false information often performs best.
A New York University study found that during the 2020 U.S. election, news from known misinformation publishers got six times more engagement than factual news from trustworthy sources.
Facebook’s personalized recommendation algorithms filter what we see, creating “partisan echo-chambers.” This means we’re constantly shown content that confirms what we already believe, leading to ideological extremism and political polarization. Basically, echo chambers. If you’re looking for a civil, open-minded discussion, you’re not much use to them. I’m just not into being part of that world.
The outcome? A society where people live in totally different information bubbles, which just fuels mistrust and social unrest. That’s the opposite of what makes successful democracies – an informed public that can disagree respectfully. I’m finding there are other places for those kinds of discussions, and I’ll share some at the end.
A History of Deception and Corporate Malfeasance
The most shocking revelations about Facebook’s decisions came from whistleblower Frances Haugen, who leaked thousands of internal documents, now known as the “Facebook Papers.” Her testimony in Congress basically confirmed what many of us suspected: the company knew about these harms for years but consistently put profit before public safety.
The documents revealed that the company:
- Knew its platforms were harming teenage girls.
- Had a secret “XCheck” system that let high-profile users (even politicians) bypass its content rules.
- Knowingly rolled back safety measures after the 2020 U.S. election because they “undermined ‘virality and growth'” on its platforms.
Beyond this, there’s a well-documented history of corporate misbehavior. Remember the Cambridge Analytica scandal? It showed how the personal data of up to 87 million users was secretly collected to create profiles for political advertising. Plus, a long list of data breaches and security failures just shows that the platform can’t really be trusted with our personal info.
Does Facebook pay its taxes? Decent citizens pay their tax. What about you Facebook?
Finally, my concern about Facebook’s tax practices is totally valid. The company is currently being sued by the IRS in the USA for over $9 billion in back taxes, interest, and penalties, for allegedly “downplaying” the value of its assets to avoid higher taxes. It’s also been accused of tax evasion in Italy, where authorities are using a new legal theory that the personal data users provide is a taxable asset.
One of its early investors, James Breyer, was on the board of In-Q-Tel, a venture capital firm set up by the CIA to invest in tech for intelligence, with a key expertise in “data mining.” This isn’t a conspiracy, but it does highlight the platform’s natural ability as a tool for collecting massive amounts of data.
This decision isn’t about cutting ties with you or our shared experiences. It’s about choosing to disconnect from a system that profits off psychological vulnerabilities, makes societal divisions worse, and has a proven history of corporate deceit.
I’m choosing a path of more intentional, non-algorithmic connection, and I really hope you’ll join me.
Enjoy your own company
What are alternatives to Facebook? Places for Civil Discussion & Real Connection
For me, this is a conscious choice to prioritise authentic human connection and well-being. This isn’t the end of our connection, just the start of a more intentional approach.
You can always reach me through email, text, phone calls – and even (gasp!) in person. I seriously encourage any and all of you to do that. If you don’t have my email address or phone number, search engines are your friend. And if you’re looking to do some good with your searching, I suggest using ecosia.org – they plant trees from your search queries! Way better than using half a litre of water on a ChatGPT search.
If you contact me through Facebook Messenger… you could be waiting a long time.
From now on the only purpose I have in remaining on Facebook is advertising courses and workshops I run. Hypocritical? I don’t think so. I’d just prefer to use the system than have it use me.
That’s something I learned from the guy who said “If They Give You Lined Paper, Write Sideways”
I’m also planning to explore other non-monetised private platforms for community building, such as Bettermode.com*, as well as broader social media platforms like Threads, Blue Sky and Mastodon [no link because like BlueSky it’s decentralised which appeals to the anarchist in me. Again, search engines will help you join a Mastodon server – it’s like a cult but without getting love-bombed and gaslit].
For civilised discussion of politics, economics and social issues I’m enjoying:
https://www.theguardian.com/au
medium.com Meant for readers and writers. But you just have to curate your feed a bit actively to avoid dross that attempts to sell you AI/crypto/diets etc.
The sites launched by members of the Center for Applied Rationality such as LessWrong and GreaterWrong.
There are many more I’m sure. If you find suitable sites, please recommend them to me in the comments below, but not on Facebook!
If you want to understand more about the harms of Facebook, I recommend viewing the film “The Social Dilemma“. It was produced by Tristan Harris and Aza Raskin of the Center for Humane Technology. I highly recommend their podcast Your Undivided Attention, which focuses mainly on the risks of AI but also of other technological advances that risk being accepted without regard to their harms.
To understand the toxic effect of Cambridge Analytica’s work in shifting the US political debate via ‘psychographics’ of American Facebook users, try Mindf*ck: Inside Cambridge Analytica’s Plot to Break the World by Christopher Wylie [affiliate link].
If you want to discover the sources of the claims made here, have a look at the links on the earlier version of this post.